Oliver's Birth Story
It all started on January 30th, at 5:06 AM. I was 1 day away from being 2 weeks overdue! I woke up to the feeling of a little bit of water trickling. I got up to use the washroom, and there I experienced what turned out to be my first contraction. And it was pretty uncomfortable. I wasn't totally sure whether it was an actual contraction or not so I went back to bed and waited. Naturally I couldn't sleep, with the thought of imminent baby on the brain, so I just lay there dreamily. Then the feeling happened again at 5:18 AM. Again, I wasn't sure it was urgent enough to wake Matt, so I waited a little longer. Then it happened again at 5:36, which was only 8 minutes later, so I gently shook Matt's shoulder, and softly spoke to him. "Hey, baby?" He groggily turned over, and peered at me through squinting eyes. "Uh huh...?" he mumbled.
"I think it's happening." I remember saying. What important words.
As Matt slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes, I explained what was going on, and within that time it happened again. It was starting to get really painful. He got up out of bed and got dressed. Over the next 45 minutes I went from 8 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart, as we gathered up a few last minute things, ate, and got ready. I thought the contractions were pretty painful, but thinking back now, I didn't even really know what pain was yet! Labour seemed to be moving pretty quickly!
We left for the hospital around 6:20AM. The drive there was actually pretty fun and exciting. We talked about how we were leaving as two, but we'd be coming back as three! The contractions were still 4 minutes apart, almost exactly, and pretty painful. But they didn't last long, and when they were over I was talking and laughing again like nothing had happened! It was almost funny. Painful, but I can smile about it now. The whole drive I had a bit of water trickling continually, which wasn't the most comfortable experience, either...
We got to the hospital around 7, and the nurses checked me out. I was already 6 cms dilated, and my contractions were now 3-4 minutes apart. The nurses figured that the water was "forewaters" which is just a small trickling of water that comes before the water has actually broken. They were all so surprised how quickly everything was going, and got me into a room pretty fast. Throughout the morning the nurses that came and went were so impressed with how I was handling my contractions. I was breathing through them, and then smiling and joking between. By noon I was already 8 cms, and the baby was already +1, on his way! Everyone was sure that another couple of hours and he'd surely be here! I was so excited! Starving, and tired, but so excited! At this point, the doctor came in to break my water, and get things really moving!
She broke the water, and everyone was pretty shocked at how much water came out! I lost about 5 pounds of water, the nurse said. Yikes! After that, things were pretty gross and uncomfortable, but I just kept the baby in mind.The doctor came back around 2 to check me again, and that's when everything took a turn...
She checked, and gave me a very discouraging expression. She told me that I was no longer 8 cms, and that I'd actually gone back to 6. I didn't even know that was possible! Apparently, as it turns out, the pressure of the water bag was actually the thing causing me to continue to dilate. And when they broke it, they actually slowed DOWN labour, instead of speeding it up.
I had no idea that ever happened.
And not only was I 6 cms again, but the baby had actually moved back up, and was now positioned at -2! You can imagine my discouragement. At this point, the doctor wanted to get my on oxytocin to move labour along, since the baby was clearly not in the mood to come out. There was no distress, however. Everyone kept telling me how happy the baby was, and how perfect his heart rate stayed. And how he just appeared to be a little too comfortable in there.
The next while was really hard.
Contractions got a lot more painful, nurse checks got a lot more painful, and since I was on induction drugs, I wasn't allowed to walk around to try and move labour along. I tried the birthing ball, I tried standing, and slowdancing with Matthew... All without any pain medications. I always thought I'd want an epidural, but when I found out that St. Boniface only administers walking epidurals, and not FULL epidurals, I opted not to. The main pain that I wanted to dull was the acclaimed "ring of fire" pain, and since they told me the walking epidural has no affect on anything below the waist, it didn't seem worth it to get a needle in my spine.
So I continued to breathe through the contractions, using a yoga technique I learned back in my yoga days. Matthew was an incredible support and coach, feeding me ice chips, holding my hand, talking me through it, and telling me what an incredible thing I was doing for our family. But despite his support, I was getting worn out. Contractions continued to be every 3-4 minutes, get more intense, I still hadn't slept, and I wasn't permitted to eat anything! At around midnight I asked for my mom to come, and she offered some incredible support as well. I really appreciated her being there for me.
But, in summation, from the time they started the oxytocin, another 16 hours of every-3-minutes labour went by, with periodic checks.
And absolutely nothing was happening.
At around 4 in the morning on January 31st, the doctor came in and sat down with me. She explained that the baby was not in distress, but that he simply was not coming. She told me that she would strongly advice a C-section.
The moment she said those words my heart broke. I could not believe this was happening to me. I was so naive to think I wouldn't be part of the statistic that ends up with an unwanted C-section. I didn't even read those chapters in the baby books! I was sure that I absolutely would not end up in this situation.
And here I was.
The doctor told us that we could either get the C-section now, or wait another 2 hours and if nothing had happened, get the C-section then. Because she thought that it was possible the oxytocin was the only thing causing me to have any contractions at all. She thought that it was possible that labour had actually completely stopped.
She left for a while so we could talk it over. I definitely cried.
It was really hard, coming to terms with what was happening. I was tired, I was hungry, I was sore, and just plain worn down. We talked about it together, and I really didn't want to do it. I was so absolutely against it. Matt and I talked about the pros of a C-section, trying to convince ourselves it wasn't so bad. But it was still really hard. I couldn't make a decision.
And then Matt said something that decided it. He looked me in the eyes, and started to tear up. Then he said "I know you feel like you're missing out on something, but you're tired. And you're ready to meet this baby. And I just can't watch you feel this pain for another two hours. Yes, if the baby would have come naturally you would have gotten that immediate bonding experience. But this way, I get to hold him. And I get to bond with him. And that's something not many fathers get. I love you, let me have that. Everything is going to be okay."
And so I swallowed my expectations. And when the doctor came in we told her that yes, we were going to have the C-section. And then she looked at us and said, "That's the right decision. Because during your talk, I had your oxytocin turned off. And you didn't have a single contraction in that entire twenty minutes." So the induction drugs were the only thing causing contractions after all. And nothing would have happened in the next 2 hours.
They wheeled me into the operating room, and I had already come to terms with what was going on. I couldn't change it, so I had accepted it. And I was smiling. I knew that in a matter of minutes I was going to meet my beautiful baby. I was going to see my husband as a father for the first time, and I was going to hear that beautiful little cry I'd been waiting for for the past nine months. So I was happy. I even joked around with the nurses.
They administered the full epidural in my spine, and rolled me over onto my back. Slowly I felt the lower half of my body lose sensation. They put up the curtain, and I lay back, waiting for my incredible husband to come in. And then there he was, in his little surgical mask and full scrubs. He was pretty excited, I could tell.
It seems like it was only moments. I could feel a little bit of tugging, but no pain. And then there it was. The most beautiful sound I'd ever heard, his sweet little cry.
"You've got a boy!" The doctor said excitedly. "And he's a big guy! Wow! Throw out your newborn sized diapers, this guy's going to need size 1's for sure!"
I immediately started to cry, and I looked up at Matt and saw the tears in his eyes. We couldn't stop smiling. I wanted to see him so badly. Matt finally broke eye contact with me to look over at our little guy, and he got to watch as he got weighed, and continued to cry. Then he was immediately wrapped up and thrust into a very new daddy's arms for the first time. Matt brought him over to me and I saw his face, and I absolutely could not believe how amazing he was. Despite how big he was, he was just so... small. And looked so much like Matt.
After he was born, the doctor who delivered him said that he was actually facing to the left, and not up or down, so he would've had some definite trouble coming out the natural way. And the day after, our OBGYN came by our room to check things out, took one look at his head, and said "Babies with heads that size do not come out the natural way." So there you have it!
Our beautiful baby BOY...Oliver Abbot Gilson
Birthday: Monday, January 31st, 5:12AM
Weight: 9 lbs 2 oz
Length: 22 inches
Head: 37
Apgar Score: 9,9
He is incredible!
Wow, just wow. I am so proud of you three for getting through this, and so happy for all of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm also a little bit jealous! I'm about 3 or 4 or even 5 years away from this, so, yeah, jealous!
Take care you guys.