I guess preparation makes perfect?
It was Monday, May 17th, and I was waiting for my period to NOT come. For about a week prior, I'd been feeling a little strange, but nothing that couldn't be explained with other causes. I'd experienced some tenderness in my chest, some abdominal cramps, crazy bad gas (yikes!) and insomnia. All things that I thought probably could just be PMS. But of course, me being me, I Googled the symptoms and found that all of them could ALSO be pregnancy related...
I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had a positive attitude, hoping that my period would never come but trying to keep an understanding spirit just in case it did. It never works on the first try, I told myself. There's no cause for concern.
But then it didn't come. It didn't come the next day either. Or the next. It was that day, May 19th, that I went out and bought the test. I wanted to be good and sure before investing that kind of money in something. I picked up a Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test from Shoppers Drug Mart, and a couple of Kinder Eggs while I was there (just it case the test came back positive, as I had a great idea for how to tell Matt!)
I finished the rest of my shift at work and headed home. When I got there, I didn't take the test right away. I wanted to throw Matt off the cent a little, so we settled into bed for a movie. Then, in the middle I got up to use the washroom (and have one of the most monumental moments of my life...)
And there in the bathroom did the most incredible and hard to believe thing happen. Only moments after taking the test, it beeped, and I read the little digital screen.
Pregnant. Could this be real? Could this be actually happening to me? Could all of my lifelong dreams be actually coming true in this very instant?? I didn't feel the way I'd always thought I would. I didn't feel a surge of excitement or bliss or ecstasy... It was more like an overwhelming feeling of disbelief and shock. Like a my-entire-life-is-changed-forever sort of feeling.
I left the bathroom and grabbed the Kinder Eggs I had prepared in advance while at work, complete with all of the little alterations I'd done. You'll see...
I went back into the bedroom to settle in for the rest of the movie. But first I casually pulled the Kinder Eggs out of my purse and handed one to Matt.
"I grabbed you a treat while I was at work today!" His face lit up, as Kinder chocolate has got to be his favourite version of the stuff. He grabbed it excitedly out of my hand and I settled into bed next to him to open mine.
Moments later, I heard a very dismayed voice next to me. "Hey! There isn't even a toy in here! What's the deal?!" I tried to conceal my smile, and act completely unaware of what was going on.
"Really?" I exclaimed. "That's so weird!" He pulled out the little rolled up note from the plastic casing and started reading it quietly to myself, as I nonchalantly assembled the little piece-of-garbage toy I'd gotten in mine. Halfway through he started reading aloud.
"Check this out babe," he said as he read.
"I've already eaten some of this!" he said when he got to the symptoms, freaking out prematurely. Then he silently read the last line to himself and his face completely changed. Suddenly, a goofy knowing expression spread over his face, and he looked up at me with "Oh you!" eyes, and said "Did you take a test?" I nodded and told him about my secret expeditions and he immediately smiled and hugged me. He too was as shocked as I was, probably more as I'd been throwing him off the scent the previous weeks, telling him "I'm probably not, I don't feel like I am." or "I've got some bad menstrual cramps, I'm probably going to get my period." So, when he found out, his reaction was a bit different than I'd always pictured in my mind. But then, so was mine.
We hugged, and talked about how terrified we were. There were no tears of joy, or bellows of laughter. Just moments of being completely stunned, moments of being in a place where you know everything is going to be different forever. Something so overpowering, its hard to react the way you think you will.
After a few more moments of terror, and elation, Matt paused for a moment. I thought he was reflecting on the events, he looked so sweet...
"But," he started, a quizzical tone in his voice. "What'd you do with the toy?" A goofy grin splashed across his face.
Classic Matt. Classic.
I'm going to be a mom!
:)
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